Nothing lifts my spirits, even if it is a gray foggy San Francisco day, like getting outside. I visited the San Francisco Botanical Garden and the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park with my in-laws the other day and it did me so much good. Baby N actually slept in the stroller for three and half hours, win! Though trying to breastfeed in the car afterward when she woke up way too hungry, nightmare. No matter what spring is at its best in San Francisco.
I found pure blissed out heaven this morning. We woke up to this view from the back porch of the tiny cottage we rented in Kauai. H and I planned this trip with about five days notice deciding on a whim that we needed to get up and out of San Francisco for a while. H is in between jobs and headed in to a challenging work environment. We’re staring down the last three months of my pregnancy before our family becomes three. Time keeps rushing by us at breathtaking speed. We needed to create a calm moment for ourselves. I’m hoping we find even greater joy on the other side of this birth, but the uncertainty and total relinquishment of control is stressful.
We came to Kauai for our honeymoon a year and a half ago and it was less than a perfect trip. The hotel was like a parking lot in the middle of a golf course (stay away from the Westin Kauai). We hadn’t done much research on the weather and weren’t prepared for the dramatic thunderstorms common on the North Shore. The emotional overwhelm of the wedding made it really hard for me to relax and enjoy. I was overjoyed to be married to H, but the sheer overload of feelings around the wedding left me a little shell-shocked. Ever since we finished that trip, I’ve wanted a redo on our honeymoon. Now became the perfect time.
Coming back I had a completely different attitude, open to whatever experience was in store for us. This morning I found the peace and stillness that I usually only get for a moment or two at the end of a really great yoga practice. I wish I could find this kind of joy and stillness in the midst of my every day life in San Francisco – tap into gratitude and find the beauty and joy in the every day. We’re only on day one of the trip and I know I’ll come home restored, my well filled up again to overflowing. It will be more than enough to sustain me through this next transition and I’m very grateful for that.