I’m going into creative rehab today. Creative recovery is a term that I read about in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, a brilliant book about uncovering your creativity and artistic inspiration. One part of her introduction really hooked me, and I thought, “Oh god that’s me too.” It was in the introduction. She hints at her issues with alcoholism. What I understood from her writing was that she came to a point where she had to make a choice between alcohol and art. She realized the two couldn’t coexist.
At the time I read that, I felt like I wasn’t really ready to make a change. I wasn’t convinced that I needed to. Sitting where I am today I feel like it’s time. I choose writing. I choose my art. I choose the difficulty and discomfort of facing and sorting through my raw feelings. I’ve written before about how I tend to run from difficult emotions afraid that they’ll gobble me up. I run, by self-soothing with food, wine and TV, numbing out from the world around me. You cannot selectively numb, as I’ve learned from Brene Brown. If you numb the bad, you numb the good. When I finally drag myself to my desk to write, I’m left with nothing inside to write from.
I have this great habit of getting all excited to start a new program, or lifestyle, or endeavor, and never make it through dinner of the same day. Posting here, is way of holding myself accountable. Though no one’s watching, I’ll feel like someone’s watching. A nice kick in the pants to stick to somtehing for once. I’m trying to go day by day and leave it at that.
Daily Creative Recovery:
- Morning Pages (See Julia Cameron’s book for this one)
- Healthy Diet (Sugar, Caffeine, Gluten, Alchol, Dairy Free)
- Enough Sleep
- Fresh Air
- Open Hearted Post
Removing some of the crutches I cling to, a glass of wine, comfort eating, and so forth, I take away the layer I normally use to cover over whatever I’m feeling or thinking. This is an experiment in learning to live without those buffers. At the very least I hope I get a better understanding of myself. I also hope my health and energy levels improve. Most importantly though, when I sit down to write I want to know that I’m doing all I can, working my ass off to haul up my own star. (Have to thank APW for that little gem of wisdom.)